


Unstuck

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: Reconcilliation (Reaper Jessica Moore) [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (Which I have), (a bit), AU Optional Reading, Emotional Processing, Established Relationship, For the Writer, Jessica Moore Lives, Just Kinda Screwing Around in the Same Basic Universe, Messing around with time agnosia, Multi, Non-Monogamy, Optional sort of AU of the AU cause that's what my brain does, Outtakes, POV Dean Winchester, Poly V, Polyamory, Stress Relief, Time Agnosia, Time Travel, Unintentional Time Travel, What Happened in my brain after the first book was over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 23:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13623483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Sam is having a mix of good and bad days, but in the end they know where he stands, when he's really with them.





	Unstuck

**Author's Note:**

> I try to make them have conflict, but it hurts my heart so freaking much, so I don't know, conflict-y sap. Conflict that is a little fluffy, with a whole lot of heart.

They’re eating in a diner a few towns over from their own when Sam sees the priest.

It’s Sunday, and maybe the three of them should have planned better for this. But Sam is, well, in his own world. And usually it’s a world the two of them would love to pull him out of. They’re just not sure if this counts towards that or not.

Sam stands between Dean and Jess and the man in the Sunday getup and says, “Excuse me, Father,” and wins the man over immediately even though Sam is as tall as two of his average parishoners. The man smiles, maybe a little bit by rote, slipping into a Sunday kind of role, but whatever that means it doesn’t register enough to bother Sam. “Where are you, uh, where do you say mass?”

The priest raises an eyebrow but they hear him report the name of his church to Sam. The older man asks, “You not from around here?” and Sam shrugs. “Yeah. I guess I’m not, we haven’t been here long.” It’s Sam’s stock answer since they were small. He still knows how to rattle that part of their story off, and Dean’s not sure if he should feel good or bad about that.

Jess mouths to Dean, _A priest?_ and Dean shrugs. Neither of them need to be told twice that Sam feels guilty, maybe horrible. In the back of their minds they know where this is going. They just all wish it wouldn’t.

Well, two of them do, and then there’s Sam.

They can feel his utter anguish, his despair, in the back of their minds, a low thrum.

There’s probably no stopping this no matter how much they might want to.

“Hello, um, sir,” Dean says, and tries to stop himself from gesturing vaguely at the not-imitation version of a costume he and Sam have worn a time or two on hunts. “My brother, uh…”

“We would welcome you as well,” the priest says with a trained mildness to his tone.

“Right. Sure. Great. Okay.”

Jess is gesturing in a vague _No, stop_ pattern and Dean almost wants to laugh. He would laugh if they were at home.

There’s actually nothing funny about this, though.

Nothing funny at all.

Then Sam goes and actually sees the priest.

And that’s just as miserable.

He comes home shaking a little, and Dean has to hold in the _what did you expect, we’re hunters_ lecture that he might have given his younger brother at another time in his life. And it’s not that he wants to baby Sam in any way, it’s just….

Dean and Jess exchange a look and fall in step.

“I’m going back,” Sam says, defensive from the word go, and they button in their reactions.

Dean just asks, “Why?”

“Because, Dean, we…”

“Sam,” Jessica says, soft but firm, and his eyes dart to her, and he takes a step back. Then forward. Then back. Then nods. 

“Okay,” Sam says. “I don’t mean it like that, Jess. It’s just….”

“This might not be good for you, is all,” she says.

“What _is_ good for me?” he asks her.

“I don’t think it would have happened this way if it weren’t--” she starts, and he scoffs, then laughs, bitter and hard.

The bedroom door slams behind him.

Okay, then.

*~*~*

“Yeah, so,” Dean says as they sit together on the couch later that night, with Sam in the back room, “You know. We’ve had a lot of things happen to us.”

“I know, Dean. I feel them all the time. I know none of it happened to me. But…”

He nods. “I know. And you’ve helped a lot. Sam just… Sam’s always had this heaviness. I don’t know.”

“At school...I saw it. This is new though.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Did I do wrong, Dean? I wanted to come home to you, to him, and I saw a way.”

“I know. Jess, it’s fine. He’ll be fine.”

But Sam does keep going to the priest, which is definitely becoming one of the weirdest things in their lives.

“Sam, what happens when the freaking local priest figures out…”

Sam sighs. “Look, Dean, you wouldn’t understand this.”

“Sam, if you want to call Bobby or whatever, you know, talk to _family_ , then…”

“Family doesn’t solve everything, Dean. Family can’t erase who you are, what you’ve done.”

Dean nods, tight, and shrugs. “Fine, then. Okay. It’s just, we love you, Sam. I mean that.”

And he sees from Sam’s face that he knows they both do.

“Sam,” Jess tries again, and then almost immediately backpedals. Instead she pushes forward just a little. “I’m sorry. I…”

Sam blows out a breath. “Jess. No. No. Come on.” He crosses the room to her and squeezes her hand. “It’s not like that.”

Today. It’s not like that today.

Dean edges a little closer to both of them just in case this goes incredibly badly in record time, like in other moments.

“It’s just…” Jess says, and shrugs, “You know. Okay. Thanks, Sam.”

Sam nods, and they can all feel his heart hammering in his chest, the way he’s fighting back tears. “Okay, Jess. I’m sorry, too,” he says. “If you don’t want…”

“I’ll always want you, Sam,” she says, quiet and resolute. “We’ve been through hell together. They tried to separate us every way they could, everyone did. And that’s not who I am. That’s not what I want. I just...I feel...everything.”

“I know,” he says, and it’s nice to see Sam on the same page with them today. If this is what the priest gets them, then maybe it’s worth it, Dean thinks.

It’s probably not the priest, but just luck of the draw.

“I just think I’m cursed,” Sam says, and yeah, that’s about where Dean’s used to things being. “And there’s just this feeling.”

“Be here with us now, Sam,” Dean says, uncharacteristically quiet and serious. “Just right now.”

Sam blinks. And it has a chance to backfire. But they both see that it won’t, not this time.

“Okay,” Sam says. “That was a close one. If you want me to call Bobby, I will.” But there’s a bit of a defeated tone to his words.

“Could be good, could be bad,” Dean admits. “It’s up to you, Sam.”

“But a priest...that has the potential to be worse,” Sam says.

“You don’t need more people telling you you’re evil, Sammy,” Dean agrees. “That’s not what this is about.”

“Breathe and be here,” Jess says. “Please, Sam.”

“What a year,” Sam says.

Dean smiles a little. “You’re tellin’ me.”

Sam joins them on the couch and they sit in the quiet. Sam rests his head gently on Jess’ shoulder and when he breathes it’s audible and a little shaky. “I’m sorry, Jess,” he says. “I’m not going to torture you for this.”

Jess nods. “Okay, Sam,” she says, but Dean knows she’s probably thinking of ways to get him to tattoo that on his forehead.

Dean leans close to her and tries not to think he’s the one who’s done horribly wrong by both of them. 

That wouldn’t be productive, even if it were true. They’ve got to keep their heads on the shoulders, especially now, and remember what it’s supposed to be about, for all the times it won’t be like this.

“I love you too,” Sam says quietly, “Both of you, and I--”

“Sssh,” Jess says, and whispers, “Just be here, Sam,” and Dean thinks maybe for a while his brother might.


End file.
